Truths

When some people ask for help or advice, they really only want you to agree with them.

You can only do so much for another person. Some things they have to do themselves.

You can only change yourself.

Tradition

Tonight I am making cornbread. It's better for the dressing that way -- not stuffing, dressing. It needs time to sit and dry up a little so it can so soak up the chicken broth. There used to be a whole houseful of people in this very house on Thanksgiving. My grandmother would cook for days. Pies, cakes, huge turkeys, vegetables and all that stuff. Tomorrow I will be working, and there will only be two of us for the feast, but there will be granny's cornbread dressing.

Minutia

Some random thoughts:

• I become easily obsessed with things, especially in miniature.
  
• I deconstruct swiss cake rolls and eat gummy bears in order from least favorite to most favorite.
• I prefer odd numbers to even ones.
• I don't like to make eye contact unless I know someone really well.
• I like kung fu movies with Bruce Lee.
• I have a hard time letting go of paper.
• Talk shows make me feel uncomfortable and embarrassed for the guests.
• While I do some of my best work on deadlines, I hate them.
• I am quicker to cry when angry rather than sad.
  

What I'm reading

Right now I'm just getting started on Michio Kaku's Physics of the Impossible. I'm already in love with its concept of what is impossible today may not be tomorrow.

Kaku is rapidly becoming my favorite physicist. Although I'm not sure I had one before him, maybe Einstein. I must confess that I have a little crush on Kaku for watching him talk sexy about physics on all those science shows. Science can be fun.

Be careful for what you wish for

I typically avoid writing about politics because I believe in that old adage. You know the one that says you shouldn't talk politics or religion if you want to keep friends and avoid arguments. So this isn't going to be too political, but you can't talk about health care in this country without a small dose.

It's that time of the year when most companies are offering re-enrollment in their health insurance plans. Most change from year to year and not all companies have them, but if you are working you typically have some sort of coverage. With the president's health care reform, you are supposed to be able to get insurance if your work doesn't provide it or you are still in college. If you are living in poverty, retired or disabled, you likely have Medicaid or Medicare. So we should all have access to health care in some sort of form, right? Well not exactly.

The insurance companies or the government get to decide what is best for you -- not you, not your doctor. Oh there is choice involved, but only if you have the funds to pay out of pocket. If you don't, you don't get much choice.

A few examples:

• If you get injured through no fault of your own, the insurance can make you pay out of pocket for an MRI. Or they can say you have to do x, y, z before we will cover an MRI. Hope you don't do any more damage while we are saving money.
  
• A maintenance drug that works great to control diabetes is determined too costly. The insurance company makes you pay more for it. Want to get it at your local pharmacy instead of our mail-order pharmacy, no problem just pay five times as much.
• Your doctor thinks you need to be screened yearly for cancer. We will pay this year, but not the next. The government says you only need to get checked for certain diseases every other year, and surely, they have your best interests at heart.

I sometimes think it was easier to get care when I didn't have any insurance. So everyone having access to health insurance might be a good thing, but it doesn't equal better care. Let's not kid ourselves. It just means following doctor's orders may cost you more. The other alternative is allowing the government or the insurance company to make health decisions for you. It's not about providing care, it's about the money.

It's the end ... or not

Have you heard about the aircraft-carrier-size asteroid that is passing between the moon and the Earth tonight? I'll be at work, but I think it might be worth stepping outside for a look.

R.I.P., Andy Rooney

Journalism lost a beloved curmudgeon today. I remember watching "60 Minutes" as a kid after the late Sunday football game. Andy Rooney's matter-of-fact manner was kind of comforting after a the harder news stories. I was a news geek even then. I also liked watching a young Geraldo Rivera do undercover investigations on "20/20." I think any journalism endeavor can use a dose of both. You want the brash young guns who are willing to take risks, but you also need the wise, sometimes grizzled veterans to balance with a healthy serving of common sense. After reading Rooney's news obituary, I realize he got a chance to be both in a career that spanned seven decades.

It's not real

I find it interesting how some people get drunk with power - even when they don't have very much. It's a little like Cartman from "South Park" running around saying "Respect my authority." It's hard to respect someone who doesn't earn it or have any meaningful authority.

Comparisons

We went to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" on Saturday night and had such a great time. I threw toast. But the best part was I picked up some new catchphrases. The two kids seating next to us had plenty of gems. They were obviously were Rocky virgins, but didn't go up for the ritual hazing.

Some of the highlights:

"This isn't exactly a movie. It's a sing-a-long."

"Is that John Belushi?" (It was Meatloaf)

"I liked it better than that Patrick Swayze movie."

Update

I'm still getting updates on a child I don't have from a place I've never been -- now they come in Spanish.

Different strokes

I let the dogs in early this morning because it was bitter cold. West Texas temperatures should never reach negative numbers. The basset laid down and took a nap with me. The junkyard dog? She ate a book.

It made me smile

Last night, my husband was watching a show about Diane Sawyer while I was at work. He sent me a text message that said I was like her and should have been a reporter. It was sweet and made me smile that he could see me in that light. I don't really see many similarities, but when I graduated all I wanted to be was writer. I envisioned a career as a political reporter or a nature journalist, traveling to wherever the story took me. Sometimes life doesn't work out the way you plan. Sometimes I regret not following that path, but then I remember all the things I wouldn't have in my life if I had spent it jet-setting around the globe. Everything happens for a reason.

2011

I've mentioned my affinity for odd numbers before, so it's probably no surprise that I am hopeful about 2011. During 2010, I spent a lot of time reacting and worry to situations that I have little to no control over. This year is going to be the year of focusing on what I can control. I can do better things for my health. I can make changes to my job skills and my work status. I can put effort into getting my finances in order. I can clean up and clear out clutter to give us some breathing room. I can avoid toxic situations with grace and love. I've deliberately avoided "resolutions" because I am great at making lists and not so great at crossing them off. I am just going to make this year one that is dedicated to making things better and find a little peace and happiness. Small steps are the way to make it in the long run.

Her royal lowness

The basset hound came into our lives seven years ago - a cute puppy that captured my heart with an online picture. I had recently lost my rottie that was the great dog in so many ways. Let's just say the hound was different. The rottweiler was house trained in less than a week. The hound not so much. It's something we are still working on. The rottie could spend the day in the house and not touch a thing she wasn't supposed to; the hound leaves a path of destruction in her wake. The rottie loved to ride in the car while the hound is confused by the whole process. They couldn't have been more different. I spent a lot of time comparing them. The hound had a recent health scare and it reminded me of something. I would miss her funny ways. I need to love her for who she is and not hold it against her for who she's not. I think I should apply that to people, as well.

I can dream

If I every get independently wealthy, I am going to pay to have my groceries delivered. Today's shopping did not put me in the holiday spirit.

Passenger

I'm not the conductor or the engineer, I'm just along for the ride.
Inspiration via Mom

Less is more

Some days I would just like to trade all this drama in on some comedy or maybe even a good mystery.

War and the written word

War made me. No, I'm not a veteran. But if it weren't for World War II and a handwritten letter I wouldn't be who I am. How does a young man from the dusty desert of West Texas met a young woman from Michigan's Great Lakes Bay region? Written on the camp's gold embossed stationery and dated in August of 1943:

Dear Miss Shirley,
Louis Sylvester told me about you so I thought I might write to you. I hope you don't mind.

She didn't.
They began to write back and forth. Beautiful letters that go from Miss Shirley to Shirley Darling. After he returned home from Europe, they got married and moved to Texas to start a family. They had three sons, the eldest would become a war veteran himself. That son would elope to Mexico with young redheaded woman before he shipped out to Vietnam. His daughter was born while he was in Southeast Asia. He came home when she was nine months old and they have been trying to make up for lost time ever since.

So I guess you could say two wars made me. I not only owe my freedom to veterans, I owe my life to two of them. My grandparents' love started with a letter. That love grounded me and gave me a touchstone in my life. I miss them everyday.

So this Veterans Day, thank a veteran and don't forget their loved ones either. It isn't easy being the loved one of someone serving their country. It takes great strength to serve and great strength to share the sacrifices of one who serves.

A passage

I've been trying to read more. I love to books, but I seem to put them on the back-burner a lot lately. So today I was getting in a few minutes of reading while waiting and this passage from Anne Rice's "Angel Time" really spoke to me for some reason.

"But in every family there are bad people, and weak people, and some people who can't or won't withstand the trials of life, and who fail spectacularly."

I don't think I'm a bad person, but perhaps I am a weak one. I'm definitely one who tries to avoid trials. It's something I need to work because I don't want to fail spectacularly.

Time change and life unchained

Daylight savings time has never really made sense to me. The idea that we can trick ourselves into using daylight seems a waste of time, but on a positive note it did get me up an hour earlier. Two loads of laundry are done, the dogs are fed and water has been added to the fish tank. Oh, and I've had more time to kill on facebook and surfing the Net.

I figured today would be a good day to start my Life Unchained list inspired by Maggie Mason's Mighty Life List. In the spirit of her list, I will have some simple things and some major items. One slight difference is she has 100 items, I will have 99. It's one of my eccentricities that I prefer odd numbers, especially nines. So I will announce the first nine today and keep adding as the ideas occur. Also it's just random order not order of importance. Notice I said eccentricities, not quirks or crazy. That's the beauty of being from the South. Obsessive compulsive much, why yes, why do ask?

My Life Unchained List (aka the bucket list)
1- Take B fishing at the coast where my grandparents took me.
2- Get a passport.
3- Travel to Ireland and kiss the Blarney Stone.
4- Make blackberry jam.
5- Go sailing.
6- Write a novel.
7- Get a freelance job.
8- Learn to fry chicken like my grandmother.
9- Publish a poem.