Any blogger who mentions Kolchak:The Night Stalker and Wiseguy in the same post has gotta be good.

Good idea

As someone who has made a few (OK, maybe many) ill-advised calls while drinking a few (OK, maybe many) vodka martinis, I think it maybe a good idea for the phone company avert potential disasters. Who you gonna call?

Maybe it's time
to hit the gym when Amazon recommends a Philips HeartStart Home Automated External Defibrillator. I mean I know I've been slacking on the health front, but ...

It's a mad, mad world
Are You Kidding Me? I don't know which disturbs me more -- that people have created a peep show composed of garden gnomes or that someone is stealing them.

In the who would have thought it department

David Lee Roth a NYC Paramedic Seems Diamond Dave has given up singing with "California Girls" to saving Bronx women.

You say you want a revolution

During my morning blogroll, I was amazed at the number of bloggers who said, "Get out and vote." But far too many meant to add "for my candidate" or I will shred you with my rapier wit. On the other hand, I read some really good stuff from both sides of the fence like The Bleat on teaching his child about respect for the office and Tequila Mockingbird on why she voted for Kerry.

The story of this election may very well be voter turnout. Maybe not enough in this category or that category, but people got off their butts and voted. Imagine that democracy in action.

Do it
As my old political science professor used to say, "Preserve your right to bitch." Go vote.

Help ... Can't stop

There is a hobby rapidly spinning out of control at my house. It started with a little 10 gallon fish tank. I bought it to give me peace after stressful days. I bought the cheap setup at Wal-Mart and away we went. A frog, a few tetras, a little catfish and 2 red Dwarf Gouramis found a home in my little tank.

And it did give me peace. All was working well ... a little too well.

My husband decided he needed some peace as well. But his fish of choice lovingly refered to as the "man-eaters," would not go in my community tank. So we bought a 29 gallon. Everything was fine until 2 of the man-eaters decided to pair up and make little man-eaters. This meant the rest of the man-eaters were no longer allowed in 90% of the tank, thanks to vicious pair hearding everyone away from their brood.

Enter a 2nd 10 gallon tank for the three evicted from the family tank.

Not to be outdone by my husband's 2 tanks. I find a good used 55 gallon tank and it moves into our living room. It was quickly populated with kissing gouramis, catfish, tetras, dwarf rainbows, red-tail sharks, snails and ghost shrimp.

By this time, I've been spending far too much time researching fish on the Internet. And that's how I discovered nano-reefs -- a small way to test the saltwaters as it were. Enter a 12 gallon show aquarium with live rock for the reef, a couple of turbo snails, a blood shrimp and a clownfish (I can't turn down the 7-year-old who's seen Nemo too many times.)

At that point 2 more of the man-eaters have decided to settle down and the single girl is no longer welcome which is where our sixth aquarium comes in.

"Hello, Aquariums Anonymous..."

Tour de Lance

I know it may seem strange for fat woman to be a bicycling fan, but I am. I have a red, white and blue Trek that is way out of my league. I love watching Lance. I adore the idea of the brash Texan taking the beloved Tour away from the French for a sixth time. But I must admit I am getting sick of one thing this race -- Sheryl Crow. I think I've seen more of her this week than I saw of Lance's former wife in the 5 years they were married. Attention fawning sportscasters: She's a singer, not a bicycling expert.

If I never see another beheading video or photo, it will be okay with me. In my job I see some of the worst things that human beings do to each other, but I never thought I would see the results of 2 decapitations.

Jury duty

On the back of my notice for jury duty this week was this exemption: Enrolled in a public of private of secondary schools.

My first thought was "Didn't anyone proof this?" My second thought was "I hate jury duty."

I didn't get picked. But I'm sure it would have been interesting hearing the case of "The neverending car alarm." Key the People's Court music.

Hmmmm
Why is it when a conversation starts with "I hope you take this how I mean it," you won't.

Right here in my neck of the woods ... er, desert
CNN.com - Student drinks lab chemical on a dare Since this story broke through my workplace, I won't comment. But I know what you're thinking.

Your pet what?
My Pet Fat is billed as a diet aid. I don't think I need to carry a blob of fat in my pocket -- considering I carry plenty of it on my belly, my hips, my thighs, my butt ... you get the picture.

Should have read the fine print
Was so excited by the new Blogger templates, I didn't save my settings. Now I have to restore my links, comments, site meter, etc. But after that, I really will have something to say ... er, write.

Lesson learned - Gun-safety presenter shoots self. And I can't believe I just hyphenated gun safety.

Love your music, but ...
If I ever find myself in New York and by some strange twist of fate Billy Joel offers me a ride, I'm say "Thanks, but no." Although I probably would ask for an autograph.

Camping with copy editors and an AME, a sports editor, a reporter, a baby, a spouse and a basset hound.

While it was a blast, some new rules will be instituted on future trips.

1. Never give a person who has been drinking a can of gas to help with firestarting.
2. Do not leave the basset hound puppy where the skunk walked through the night before.
3. 100 bottles of beer (that's a guestimate) + a bottle of wine / 7 adults - 1 teetotaler may not be good math.
4. The clumsy person who can't see in the dark should be escorted around all large rocks.
And the most important new rule
5. Here by known as the 'Vegas' rule -- What happens here, stays here.

No names have been used to protect the guilty. Okay, I'll 'fess up. I'm responsible for no. 2 and 4 and part of no. 5. And the rest of you know who you are and that I think you're swell.

Campaign 2004
Think you know where you stand in this election? Test how your views match with the candidates at AOL Presidential Match I wasn't surprised by my first match, but the second choice was a little unexpected.

Huh?
You know there is something wrong with corporate America when you find Ozzy next to Donny Osmond and Dead Kennedys next to Dido in your branch of the nationwide music chain.