Hmmmm
Why is it when a conversation starts with "I hope you take this how I mean it," you won't.

Right here in my neck of the woods ... er, desert
CNN.com - Student drinks lab chemical on a dare Since this story broke through my workplace, I won't comment. But I know what you're thinking.

Your pet what?
My Pet Fat is billed as a diet aid. I don't think I need to carry a blob of fat in my pocket -- considering I carry plenty of it on my belly, my hips, my thighs, my butt ... you get the picture.

Should have read the fine print
Was so excited by the new Blogger templates, I didn't save my settings. Now I have to restore my links, comments, site meter, etc. But after that, I really will have something to say ... er, write.

Lesson learned - Gun-safety presenter shoots self. And I can't believe I just hyphenated gun safety.

Love your music, but ...
If I ever find myself in New York and by some strange twist of fate Billy Joel offers me a ride, I'm say "Thanks, but no." Although I probably would ask for an autograph.

Camping with copy editors and an AME, a sports editor, a reporter, a baby, a spouse and a basset hound.

While it was a blast, some new rules will be instituted on future trips.

1. Never give a person who has been drinking a can of gas to help with firestarting.
2. Do not leave the basset hound puppy where the skunk walked through the night before.
3. 100 bottles of beer (that's a guestimate) + a bottle of wine / 7 adults - 1 teetotaler may not be good math.
4. The clumsy person who can't see in the dark should be escorted around all large rocks.
And the most important new rule
5. Here by known as the 'Vegas' rule -- What happens here, stays here.

No names have been used to protect the guilty. Okay, I'll 'fess up. I'm responsible for no. 2 and 4 and part of no. 5. And the rest of you know who you are and that I think you're swell.

Campaign 2004
Think you know where you stand in this election? Test how your views match with the candidates at AOL Presidential Match I wasn't surprised by my first match, but the second choice was a little unexpected.

Huh?
You know there is something wrong with corporate America when you find Ozzy next to Donny Osmond and Dead Kennedys next to Dido in your branch of the nationwide music chain.

A little off kilter
Due to a co-worker's vacation and a scheduling switcheroo, I am off for one day in the middle of the week. And I have no idea what to do with myself.
I went to the gym this morning in an effort to avoid the whole 'Person of Size' issue previously discussed. Went to lunch with the spouse. Surfed the Web. I'm running out of ideas. I could do housework but what kind of day off would that be. So I think I'll do a little more surfing, a lot of reading and probably throw in a little quality time at Starbucks. Carmel Macchiato -- nonfat of course.

Super saver means super slow

I have learned I am not a patient person and should just shell out the few bucks for quicker shipping. Super saver shipping took 10 days to go from Nevada to Texas.

But the package from Amazon.com was worth the wait though. The cookbook will get a review later -- after a grocery store run for some ingredients. Both books by Bill Walsh at The Slot were well worth the money. When I got my first job on copy desk, The Slot was one of the few real-world reference sites I found. If you are copy editor, get these books. If you are writer, you need them too. Your copy desk will thank you.

I'm not sure I like this comparison.
But I always like to pass a test.

You are the grammar Fuhrer. All bow to your
authority. You will crush all the inferior
people under the soles of your jackboots, and
any who question your motives will be
eliminated. Your punishment is being the bane
of every other person's existence, because
you're constantly contradicting stupidity.
Everyone will be gunning for you. Your dreams
of a master race of spellers and grammarians
frighten the masses. You must always watch your
back. If only your power could be used for good
instead of evil.


What is your grammar aptitude?
brought to you by Quizilla


Thanks to the bloggers of A Capital Idea and Punctuational for pointing me to the test.

Boom! Crash! Or how I spent my vacation.
So I'm out in the yard watching sweet child o' mine play when I see this car speed down our residential street. I remember thinking 'He's not going to stop.' And he didn't. Ran the stop sign, hit a very large welding truck almost knocking it over, bouncing off and running straight through my front yard into my house. Directly into my bedroom wall, behind which my husband was sleeping. It also went through the area where my child and a bunch of the neighborhood kids had gathered early. We were lucky. No one was hurt seriously. Although I did have the urge to injure the guy who ran the stop sign.

Who would have thought?

While I am not surprised that David Crosby had a gun and marijuana in his suitcase. I am a little surprised that a N.Y. hotel wouldn't look at the records to determine who stayed in the room last, before rifling through the bag for ID. And I am really surprised that they would turn him in after the employee found the items in question.

Slacker
An apology to the blogosphere. Once again, I've been busy and let time slip away from me.

Superiority complex
Is it wrong that I watch Newlyweds to feel better about myself? I may never be a skinny, blond popstar but I can tell the difference between "lair" and "liar." It's the little things.

Size matters
I recently caught the rerun of the first episode of Airline. I realize the airline employees put up with a lot of garbage with a lot of tact. More than I would in most circumstances.

But I really question Southwest's P.O.S. policy. I will admit I am biased. I have a weight problem, a serious one although I could pass the seatbelt test. I resent them telling this poor passenger who had already had a tough day that he has to buy an extra seat for "his" comfort.

I've flown quite a bit. I've sat next to screaming babies, in front of seat kickers, behind snorers and in the vicinity of people who don't know when to let go of the perfume bottle's button. These are just something a frequent flier must deal with -- especially when on Southwest's cattle car. Cheap doesn't lead to comfort.

I don't see them calling out the management for a S.B., a S.K., a S.P. or a P.P. Would I blame an infant for crying and make the parent buy a seat far from me? No.

But not only do they ask the overweight man to buy an extra seat, they try to convince him it benefits him. The man gets his car stolen that morning, put on standby and then gets to pay for an extra seat. Wow, his day was very beneficial.

By the way, I'm not crazy about the P.O.S. moniker either.

In the beginning
How did people meet before online and speed dating?

Well my family began with a letter dated August 18, 1943 that starts 'Dear Miss Shirley' on Camp Shelby, Mississippi stationery. In that note, my grandfather from Texas introduced himself to my grandmother in Michigan. Two people whose paths wouldn't have crossed if my grandfather hadn't been in the Army with my grandmother's best friend's boyfriend.

He describes himself 'blonde' and '5 foot eleven and weigh a hundred sixty six pounds' from 'a small town in West Texas.' He tells her about Army life in Mississippi -- 'hot, chiggers and snakes.' It was only a little over a page in which he tells her he hopes she doesn't mind him writing.

I guess she didn't because they are more letters for the next three years. Most beginning 'Shirley darling.' They talk about living in her hometown which they didn't and moved to his hometown instead. The love literally pours off the pages. And it wasn't just letters.

They married on this date in 1946. It was a marriage that truly lasted until 'death do us part.' They raised three boys; lost a daughter at birth; had six grandchildren. They believed in 'in sickness and in health.' My grandfather's last years were on a ventilator and my grandmother woke up every few hours to take care of him -- moving her bed next to his hospital bed. They held hands up to the last minute of his life. She survived him by two years. And then the girl from Michigan was laid to rest next to her boy from Texas.

Happy Anniversary, Granny and Papa. I still miss you every day.

i've been here and there


create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide

I obviously need to get out more. There are a few more I've been to on the way to some place else. But I don't think they can count.

Thanks to Bill at Off-Topic, JD at What Makes Me Tick(ed), Tom at Prints the chaff and Jeff at Side Salad for letting me follow in their footsteps.

It's official ...
I'm a copy editor. Today while playing poker on Yahoo, I got a dirty im from a stranger. And my first thought was "You spelled 'masturbate' wrong" and then "Eww, gross!"