Saturday, January 24, 2004

Ten things guaranteed to send me over the edge:

Yes, I know some of these are irrational. But we all have our quirks.

10. Fast food order takers who interrupt. I'll tell you if I want extra cheese, if you will let me finish my damn order. Here is how I like it to go down: Listen to the order, repeat the order, give me the total and say "Thank you, please drive through." Is that too much to ask? And no, I don't want a hot apple pie to go with that.

9. Readers who bend books. Well, my books to be precise. What you do with your books is your business.

8. Clerks who pencil tap while I'm making a transaction. It will only take a second to write my check or swipe my debit card. And the this-job-is-so-boring fidget drives me nuts.

7. Drivers who honk the second the light turns green. If I've sat through the red light, then you can honk and feel free to give me the finger. But if it took a second to get my foot off the brake and onto the gas pedal, there is no need to blare your horn.

6. People who are touchy-feely the minute I meet them. I don't mind a handshake, but I don't need them to hold me while I talk. I think I have personal-space issues.

5. Movie-goers who chat throughout the movie. The repeating of dialogue or the singing of songs is especially discouraged.

4. Celebrities who whine about how tough their lives are and how inconvenient fame is. I pretty sure if you make a career of singing or acting you know you will get some attention. A recent whine from Ashton Kutcher prompted this entry.

3. Speaking of celebrities, Michael Jackson who puts red veils over his kids. Whether he is guilty or innocent, those photos of his kids under red lace veils just creeps me out. It gets at least a few minutes of tirade every time I see it.

2. People who assume they know my politics because of my gender or my profession. I'm especially irritated when they want to push their views without listening to mine.

1. Callers who phone before 10 a.m. I work late, I want to sleep late. If you call my house before that time, I expect a medical emergency or an emotional crisis. A double rant if you are calling to sell me something or remind me of an appointment.

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